I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize