i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
