FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm passing your future prison.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
