So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
