I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
