why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
pray to the hookup gods
we're so committed to being not committed
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
