Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Randomize
