doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My nipple is on Facebook.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We smell like vodka and hangover
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
