I'm laying in your front yard are you home
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
