It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
