i think my mom watched the whole time
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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