they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Randomize
