the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
