Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
