Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
