it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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