My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
