I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
