is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
