I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize