bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
