How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
