I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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