I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
