Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
