Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
