I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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