I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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