I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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