We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
