Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
