So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
