yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
