If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
