So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
