oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
