Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
