the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I need to align my fucking chakras