You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE