I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
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how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
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It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.