In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
