Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize