You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
