If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
