I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
