I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
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just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
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Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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