After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
