I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
