dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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