I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize