Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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