have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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