Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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