I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
