I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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