Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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