I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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