But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Randomize
