if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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