you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
