i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
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