Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
