he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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