The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
