nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
