Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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