she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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