I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
