he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
