If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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